Would you go an event your husband wasn't invited to?

My cousin has a strong dislike for my husband for no reason other than me and her used to be close and then I got married, had a family and she's still single. If I talk to her and even mention the word "husband" or "my family" she flips out and tells me to stop rubbing our relationship in her face? Anyway she's having a graduation party (she just graduated from a masters program) and she wants me and my two kids (who are two and one) to come but said that my husband isn't welcome in her home. Apparently she's been telling some of our mutual friends that he abuses me when he absolutely does not! I told her I wouldn't be attending because my husband and I are package deal, so either our whole family come or none of us do. I also told her that I didn't want my kids being taught that it's ok to exclude their daddy from family events for no reason. She then used that as ammunition to say he's controlling me and brainwashing me?! She then says I better attend christmas at her home and  that my husband will not be invited or allowed in her home then either but I better show up or I'm abandoning my family (no one else in my family has a problem with him apart from her) and I'll be dead to them?! I've decided to attend nothing my husband isn't invited to also. What would you ladies do?