Labour Advice (long/TMI)


ok so i know this isnt going to be something most have had experience with but im wondering if anyone can give me any advice... my first pregnancy i wasnt scared about labour at all but then i gave birth at 24w2d i chose to have no pain relief at all because i was worried that it may affect the baby with him bein so premature and they already told me they will only resuscitate him if his heart rate was ok etc... so anyway the birth it self was absolutely awful.. i ended up having to push without proper contractions (cervix dialated to 10cm) he was footling breach and after his body came out it was like his head was stuck they had to use forceps which took sometime (i can still feel them scraping on my pelvis) when he did eventually come out i delivered the placenta at the same time... i then hemorrhaged and lost 2500 ml of blood followed by a nurse having to manually scrape clots or whatever out of my womb and then manually contract my uterus as it didnt contract back down like it should... anyway fast forward i am now almost 20 weeks pregnant again and im now terrified of labour incase it all happens again... im also scared that if this baby is bigger how will he come out if my 24 weeker got stuck? did all that happen because he was early? do bigger babys come out easier? 😣🤞🤞