Okay so I’m kind of using this to vent out my frustrations right now so if you read all the way through great if not that’s cool too.

So I had dated this guy a couple months ago and he was so great. I fell for him very quickly. He was so funny and he was honest with me and it seemed like we got each other. We never fought and things just always seemed great. Well out of the blue he texts me saying things aren’t working and that we need to talk. Well he says he wants a break because he’s so busy with work and school and he just doesn’t have time for a relationship and to be the boyfriend he wants to be. He says we can try it again when things aren’t so hectic. So me being so infatuated with him was heart broken but I believed he still loved me and that if I waited we could go back to what we were. Well things did not go that way at all. We started to drift and I realized what he wanted was selfish and not fair to me to expect me to wait for him. So I decided I should move on. Well it didn’t work. I tried dating other people, avoiding him, blocking his number so we couldn’t text. None of it worked. I still was not over him at all. He had broke my heart and I didn’t get closure with the situation. He never gave me a valid reason as to why we broke up. So the other night I was crying and hurt and I was just so angry at him and my self. So being stupid me I DM’d him over instagram pretty much letting it all out that I wasn’t over him and that he broke my heart. Well the first response I got was kind and sincere that he never meant to hurt me and he only wants the best for me and that he was sorry. So I continued to text him back about how I can’t get over him and how I just want to get over him. Well then the responses got meaner and he was acting as if my feelings don’t matter. Turns out the first response back was not him. But his friend because he was with his friend and his friend felt bad for me. So eventually the friend told me it’s him and that my ex(let’s call him Alex bc I’m not going to use his real name) is being an ass and doesn’t want to talk to me. So I said okay. But the friend says that I can text him and he can explain to me Alex’s reasoning behind breaking up with me. So I just agree to it bc why not I wanted an explanation I was finally going to get one. So I text Alex’s friend and he tells me that everything Alex had told me was a lie and that Alex actually never cared about me. Alex’s was using me for sex and kind of as a joke. Alex broke up with me because we hadn’t had sec in two weeks(Bc I was on vacation for two weeks in Europe) and that I was too far away(I live 25 minutes from him). Alex also lied about ever loving me like he claimed he did. Alex also never had any intentions of ever getting back together too. Also the day after he ended things with me he went out and fucked some other girl. So yeah.

I’ve been screwed over so many times by guys. And I’m honestly so done with it. I feel so unbelievably dumb for ever believing that Alex’s was a good person. I told Alex some very personal stuff that I don’t share with anyone and it was all a joke to him. He knew I had problems with guys in the past with abuse and rape. Like how can someone do that? How can someone be so heartless? He made me be able to trust guys again and now it’s gone. How can I ever fully trust a guy now? I can’t. I’ve been screwed over so many fucking times that I can’t trust people like I used to.