So last year at age 16 I found out I was pregnant . Yes I know I'm young and everything but just hear me out . I was raped at 15 and started to act out because my family didn't believe me , my rapist is my cousin .so by saying that he is still out there because my irresponsible parents never did anything about it . Yes I did think of running to the police station and saying what had happened but I didn't . It was a very big mistake I didn't do that so now I'm 16 and my boyfriend of 3 years and me start messing around and being rebellious and I mostly did it because I was really mad at my parents . So on Halloween of 2016 I found out I was pregnant and well I didn't really have the words to tell you guys how petrified but happy I was . Well my pregnancy was very high risk ! Bed rest all of my pregnancy and well the day I turned 6 months my boyfriend took me to babies r us I believe and felt weird I didn't really pay too much attention but there was a slight pain on my tailbone , I just thought it was just soreness since I didn't really walk around that much so I ignored it . It's now later on the day I would say about 8 pm and the pain only gets worse and I decide to take a shower since that would always helped me . When I was showering my body pushed , YES MY BODY PUSHED ON ITS OWN !!! It hurt so badly that I started screaming , my mom rushed in the restroom and found me on our shower floor so we went to urgent care when I was admitted to labor and delivery. It's now 3 am and my doctor comes in to see if I am dilated and she left . Another hour comes by and she enters the room with a nurse and tells me that I have to reliever this baby because I am 7 centimeters dilated , now keep in mind I'm 6 months pregnant. I didn't even cry I just froze . I knew my baby wasn't going to make it . I felt like god spoke to me and said I was going to be okay to not fear or question, everything was planned out for me . So I didn't cry for the night I had faith and knew what was coming . At 2 pm I started pushing and he came out breached. His head was stuck so his face bruised, he died before I could see him breathing. As soon as I saw him my heart stopped. I felt like the same terror and anxiety when I got raped and I froze . I kissed his small purple forehead and closed my eyes . They took him way to clean him up he was born at 2:59 pm on march 3, 2017 weighing 1 pound and 12 oz . You see I've been through things that NO HUMAN should never go through! I am now a freshman at Victorville college and trying my hardest to turn my life into something good so when I'm prepared to have kids I could prepare myself financially, emotionally, and physically . I guess this was more of a vent than my story . Thank you guys for reading this ! Sorry it's long