I’ve had 4 abortions **EDIT**

Between the ages of 17-19 I had 4 abortions

I met my ex at 17 when he was 37. He lied to me and said he was 21. I later asked him again as he looked older. He then lied again and said he was 25.

I was with him for those 2 years.

Those 2 years were the worst years of my life. It was a horrible relationship. Abusive in every way possible. Emotional, verbal, sexual, and physical. He was very controlling.

I had my 1st abortion 2 months after I met him. I wanted to use protection and he said no that I can trust him and that he wouldn’t get me pregnant and Not to worry about STIs (he gave me chlamydia)

He wasn’t happy about the abortion but I had just met him and I wasn’t ready to be a mom. (He was my first)

After the abortion I got a bag of morning after pills, condoms and birth control pills that I was going to start on.

I was upset at myself for not insisting on condoms and for believing him. I told him I was done with him and that I was going to get on BC.

He flipped out and said I had no right to end it, that I killed his child and can’t leave him. He shamed me for my choice and called the bag I got from the clinic my “slut bag” he made me give it to him and said that if I’m not going to be with him I don’t need it, that I’m a girl why do I need a bag of condoms.

I gave it to him and left but he wouldn’t leave me alone. Constant harassment, vulgar texts, threats and so on. This is where the cycle began.

I felt as though my life was easier with him than without so every time I’d try to break up within those 2 years I’d always end back up with him.

He didn’t want me on BC and he didn’t want to use protection. He’d make me have sex with him when I didn’t want to and was so manipulative and controlling that I felt bad about not wanting to have sex.

So throughout the 2 years I had 4 unwanted pregnancies that resulted in abortions.

I’m so ashamed of the choice and regret meeting him.

He’s now out of my life and I’m now engaged to a wonderful man and expecting our first baby.

**EDIT**

I just wanna thank everyone for their nice comments. This is something only family and one of my friends know about. It’s not something I like talking about or even like thinking about. So thank you all for the nice comments