Today is our first wedding anniversary, but we had our first date a little over 4 years ago.  That date changed so many things for me.  Before I met my husband, I would consistently pursue the wrong sorts of people, and wonder why things never worked out for me.  More specifically, I was attracted to people who didn’t respect me—like a moth to the flame I was drawn to them.  It was a predictable, self-destructive pattern:  some charming, asshole of a guy would lure me in.  I’d fall fast and I’d fall hard, but he’d never catch me—my feelings never seemed to be returned.  He would take advantage of my adoration, and I’d practically have to beg for his attention and affection, the same way a dog would beg for a bone.  I’d let him walk all over me if I thought it would make him like me better.  I’d been chasing boys all my life—on the playground as a kid, and as an adult I continued to chase them—just  in a more metaphorical way.  I thought that was just the way things worked.  And these men I was so hopelessly attracted to always seemed to be after one thing (and it wasn’t love)…and once they’d gotten it, they would discard me like a piece of trash and move on to their next conquest, leaving me shattered every time. Shortly before I met my husband, I was losing faith in love, and I began to believe I would never find anyone.  I created an online dating profile in a sort of last ditch effort to put myself out there, and within a couple of weeks, he messaged me.  I thought he was cute, and we exchanged messages back and forth for about a month before we scheduled our first date.  It was at a hookah bar.  We ordered fried pickles as an appetizer, chose a hookah flavor to share, and I got a beer, which I managed to spill EVERYWHERE!  I suppose the banter was similar to many first dates, and at the end of the night, I pulled him in and kissed him goodbye.  On my way home, I got a text message FROM HIM (usually *I* had to initiate contact with suitors) asking when he could see me again.  Now, I have to admit that the first date DIDN’T give me the fireworks I was used to feeling with guys I had previously dated, and at first I thought that meant we didn’t have “chemistry,” but I scheduled another date with him for the following weekend regardless, and I continued to schedule dates with him over the course of the next 6 months.  Although I wasn’t so sure of him at first, over those 6 months, he grew on me like a fungus, and I was happier than I had been in a long time. Before I knew it, I was in love.  Unfortunately, at the end of those 6 months, he joined the Army and left for Basic Training.  It wasn’t a surprise—he told me 3 months in, and at the time, I pretended to be supportive, but secretly worried about what it would do to our “relationship” (I put “relationship” in quotations because although we were seeing each other exclusively during those 6 months, we hadn’t really put a label on it quite yet).  And indeed, things were a little touch and go with us for a while thereafter—long distance relationships aren’t exactly a walk in the park.  We were on and off for about a year, and even though I would try to move on from him in our off periods, something always kept me coming back to him.  Finally, before his first deployment, we made a decision—enough on and off—we needed to figure things out, and this deployment would serve as a “test” for our relationship.  And although the first few months of his deployment were EXTREMELY difficult, we ended up passing the deployment “test” with flying colors, and when he came to visit following his deployment, he popped the question!  After 2 years of long distance BS, we were excited to be together, and chose to get married as soon as possible—just 4 months after our engagement!  And now here we are, a year into our married life, and I am so tremendously glad that I gave him a chance despite the misgivings I had when I first met him.  In retrospect, the reason I did not feel as drawn to him at first as I had with the previous guys I had dated was because HE WAS NOT LIKE THE PREVIOUS GUYS I HAD DATED!  He was sweet, and kind, and respectful—and this was stuff I wasn’t used to or comfortable with at the time—but it ended up growing on me just like he did.  Before I met my husband, I thought love should feel like fireworks, and in my experience, it was also like a roller coaster—with super high highs, and the lowest possible lows that you could imagine.  But being with my husband has redefined for me what love is and what it should and shouldn’t feel like.  Love shouldn’t feel like any type of explosive (not even fireworks!), and true love isn’t like a roller coaster either.  True love is like being wrapped in your favorite blanket in front of a fireplace with a cup of hot cocoa on a cold winter night…and my husband is the human equivalent of this for me.  I am so lucky to call him my husband.  Here are some photos from our big day (such good memories)!  Feel free to share some of yours as well!