just wanna disappear

me and my so have been together for a year and half now and I am currently 20 weeks pregnant with my first child I'm really excited to become a mother but I'm really starting to hate my boyfriend guts things between before I got pregnant were already rocky and now that I'm pregnant I thought he would change but no it seems like every thing got worse all he does is be outside all day with his friends he never has money for anything he just plays around all day everyday and I just don't know how much more I can take I've tried leaving and he won't let me I just recently lost my job I don't have any friends or family and just need help