I am so fucking scared that I'm really sick again. I have a lot of health issues and have been face to face with death before (for a different reason) and I thought that things could only improve from there, but things are getting bad. My hair is falling out, I can't eat, I can't sleep, everything hurts, and I'm scared it's serious and will impact not only me, but everyone that loves me. I'm engaged to the love of my life, but if I'm going to be a burden, I don't want to be with him. I want him to be with somebody that can take care of him and work with him. He deserves more than I could ever give him and if I'm really sick again, he would have to take care of me a lot and I don't want that for us, he already does so much for me. He keeps saying that he'll stand by me through it all, but I don't want him to, I want him to live life to the fullest and fulfill his dreams- with or without me, if necessary.