Hey ladies! Just wanted a bit of advice here, maybe someone can offer a new perspective on this or something. Sorry for the novel...

I’m close-ish with two gals (we’re all 30) and it seems as though we may either be growing apart or don’t really have a solid friendship. I’ve known the one girl since we were in high school and I met the other through her a couple of years ago.

We never hang out unless the high school pal wants to...so basically if she says “hey, I want drinks; are y’all free?” If we’re free then we all go out. She plans in advance sometimes too but it’s rare. The other girl rarely asks to do anything (she spends most of her time with her family-is really close to her parents and sisters) and ditches us in a heartbeat pretty consistently if she makes plans with us but then her family makes last minute plans. She’ll only plan stuff with her sisters also, like concerts and things she knows we’re all interested in she’s automatically “I’m going with my sisters”.

But...Whenever i ask them about attending an event or activity I want to do, the group chat goes silent or only one will respond (but not commit to going “that sounds fun, you should go” or giving some excuse as to why not days after I even asked, while simultaneously asking about a something they want to do instead)

The newer friend is self conscious about her weight and size and lets that affect alot of what she does or doesn’t do when we attempt to go out. The other one just doesn’t seem interested at all and shoots down every invitation I send out but yet invites us to alternate plans or things that other people have invited her to or is going to invites from her coworkers. Don’t get me started on the biggest invite this year, for my 30th bday. Guess who had excuses earlier this year for why they couldn’t make it and my bday was several months later smh.

My circle is already small (I have another small group of friends that dynamically is much better in regards to reciprocity and sharing time with activities etc (“you went to my event, so I’m going to yours”) If there’s no interest in the activity, there’s no hurt feelings but we don’t ignore each other about it either. It’s rare that we don’t participate with each other, we’ll get together just for the sake of “I haven’t seen you in a week, I miss you. I don’t care what we do” lol. So even if it’s not of interest, we still go or we’ll all offer ideas that work best for everyone. I’ve known them all for about 10 years now and most of them are a couples of years younger than me.

Am I being too sensitive or is this a legit sign that maybe this “friendship” with these 2 friends won’t survive going forward? I’m pretty fed up but do I just stop talking to them or keep shooting them down every chance I get? I’ve said something to them about this before but like I said there’s always an excuse. The newer girl has realized her part in it and has reached out to me on her own about being distant, that other one though? #excuses