Im jealous of my boyfriend's past relationship

I need help. I'm struggling with the idea of my man with another girl. He dated this girl three years ago but I still can't get over the fact they had sex. Not just sex but deep intimate sex. I was a virgin before I met him, so I never had anyone before him, but he has been with about 4 other girls. He's very open about, answering any questions I have ab the situations. So that makes me feel better, yet I find myself asking questions I don't think I really want to know. I feel like I'm a repeat of everything he did before me, and that it's not special to him like it is to me. Just recently I found out that he had raw sex with his ex and came inside her because she was on birth control. To me that's super intimate and I hate that did that. He talked about how he wanted to do things like this with me. But ever since I found that out I don't want to even have sex with him at all, I don't know why but anytime I think about us having sex, I can't help but picture him with his ex and it repulses me. I get the squirmy "don't touch me" feeling when I think of us together. My boyfriend in a long distance relationship and I see him every 5-6 months for a week or so. But I feel as if I've lost all intimate feelings towards him and he's coming home in a month and I know he'll wanna have sex. I told him how I was feeling and he got very upset. He even cried ab the thought that I didn't want to be intimate with him. We talked it over and he said if that's really how I felt that he'd wait for me to be ready again. I told him earlier today that those feelings of wanting to be intimate with him weren't gone and that I would have sex with him, but honestly I still feel uncomfortable with it Bc of his history with his ex and even now when I look at him I can't tell if I actually feel anything towards him at all. I'm so scared I don't want to loose him because I'm so in love with him (or so I thought). It's only been 5 months since we've been together and it's extremely hard not having him around and I fear that might be an underlying problem to these feelings I'm having. What should I do? How do I get over these feelings of jealousy and lost intimacy? I just feel as if everything he is saying to me is everything he said to her. And anytime we have sex I can't help but think he did this with her. It's ruining me.

*I posted this in another relationship group as well. I wanted to get multiple opinions on why people thought. So sorry if you're seeing this post twice*