My boyfriend I have will have been together 5 years next month. I have been trying to get him to get serious about marriage and a baby for a couple years now (he’s 31, I’m 29). Well I recently have felt like he has been getting really close to agreeing to the idea of trying for a baby. We agreed on names, he’s been talking to his parents about it (and he never talks to anyone about these kinds of things), he talks to me much more about it with him even being the one to bring it up. I have been thinking about it a lot, the timing, saving a lot of money, and doing a lot of research. I was going to talk to him this week about starting to try in March because, for many reasons, that seems like the right time for us. Well, I got home Monday night and one of his best friends was there and he asked my bf to be his best man in his wedding, which is incredible news and I’m very excited for them all.

However, the wedding is going to be in Punta Cana. This means that I can’t get pregnant before that because of the Zika virus and the CDC recommends waiting for 6 months after going before trying to conceive. That means that even if we only waited 3 months after going and we got pregnant on the first try we wouldn’t have a baby until like Sept 2019 😥 I am completely heartbroken.

We got into an argument about it Monday after his friend left, which I admit was bad timing to bring it up then on my part. I should have let him enjoy the excitement he was feeling for his friend, but my emotions just took over. I explained that I was really sad about that and I feel that I’ve been very patient waiting these 5 years for him to be ready and now I’m being told I have to wait 2 more. I feel like there’s a whole in my stomach and heart. I just don’t know how to make myself be patient for 2 more years. My body physically is yearning for a baby. It’s just hard because I don’t feel like he understands why I’m as sad as I am. I am incredibly excited for our friends and it hurts me that I am inadvertently feeling some anger toward them.

This is the only place I feel I can vent about this right now. I guess I just need to let myself be sad about it for a while and grieve the thought that we would have a baby sooner.