As of today I’m getting divorced

I know ladies the last thing you wanna do is hear someone’s sad story, but today I’m hurting.. My husband and I are getting divorced. I’m torn. I’m acting calm... because I really don’t know what to do. When we argue... we argue hard.. he calls me things he doesn’t mean. And I throw things like a crazy bitch... I don’t know why I do that.. but I do. Today he said he wanted a divorce I begged him to change his mind. He calls me crazy. Which sometimes I know I am. But I love him. And I wanna do anything I can to fix this... but he doesn’t care. I’m so lost.. it’s all my fault 😔 just send a prayer out for me, so god gives me the right direction.. if you ladies could do that.. it would be greatly appreciated

xoxo- a stranger