#metoo

Growing up I was molested multiple times by 2 family members . I remember just randomly crying . But I was never taken to a doctor to see what was going on .

The cycle continued into adulthood..

I never learned how to say no so I would fight in hopes the guy would get turned off . But my panties would always end up ripped or a button broke off my pants . The first time I said no I ended up pregnant .

I have never gotten the help I know I need . I get into these moods where I just shut down . And I can’t seem to explain that my childhood is the reason for that . I try so hard. I can’t turn to my family for obvious reasons .

I now have two small children of my own . And a boyfriend who cares for us so much .. how do I explain to him what has happened to me ?