Idk what to think

I feel like I am trying to stay head out of water because religion is drowning me

They say I have to pick one catholic or Christian. But I don’t want either. I believe in Jesus but I don’t believe in a religion. I was raised forced to get up every Sunday and go to church. My husband Is Catholic. He won’t go to a Christan church with my mom but my mom won’t go to catholic. I don’t want to go to either. I do not believe it in. I believe in Jesus but that’s it. I feel so lost. Either way I don’t win. I want to be free. I feel dead inside because they keep pressuring me and pushing me to pick one.

What will I tell my kids. How will. I feel like I’m running and running but it’s a treadmill and I can’t get far