Anti CIO METHODS

I can't do the CIO nor do I want to. I've tried it to a small degree and he just doesn't settle himself. It just gets louder and louder. I know when I have cry fits like that (pregnancy hormones. We've all been there 😂) I get a headache. I don't want baby to get a headache either. Plus I don't need the neighbors losing sleep too lol. I need some help with giving him what he needs to learn to self soothe. Right now he eats last in his bedtime routine as per babywise newborn schedule but we're way past that. What does your bedtime routine look like. What should I do when he wakes. Also, trying to get him unswaddled 🤷🏽‍♀️ I'm so lost. Motherhood is a guessing game and my guesses haven't worked.

He is 4.5 months and rolling over.

I have a lavender essential oil that I roll on him.