I feel defeated...ALREADY!!!


This is my first time ttc baby #1 and I already feel like I’m never going to be able to. Little back story of my fear. So when I was little I got diagnosed with Lyme disease. Now I know it is treatable but I didn’t get so lucky. I had it for four years without knowing...yep..YAY. So move forward ten years and I get really sick in college. Same symptoms I had for years when I was a child. I go months trying to figure out by going to numerous doctors but come to find out, it can’t be fixed. I have CHRONIC LYME DISEASE. What???? How is that even possible??? There is nothing about this anywhere since Lyme disease isn’t usually not treated for years. (That’s another story, my childhood had some neglect in it)

Anyways, so what does this have to do with having a baby? I don’t know and no doctor knows either. They are just going to treat it like auto immune disease. Cool. I can deal with that. However, what if I can’t have a baby? I ovulated and have been taking prenatal for three months and even stopped drinking.

I also peed on about a dozen pregnancy test and every single one is a BFN. No period yet and it’s due tomorrow. Have cramps but nothing else.

Maybe I’m being dramatic, I probably am but I have no one to relate to about this.