So lonely

Just here crying because I got super excited because finally I get a faint line and next thing you know doctors test is negative. Why?? even bother taking a blood test if I already know the answer NEGATIVE. WHY?? torture myself hoping for a Positive. I don't have friends to talk to I'm here lonely. My bf so positive that it will happen sooner or later. But no I want it NOW. Why can't I make a baby. I'm a failure as a WOMEN. I JUST LOST ALL THE HOPE I HAD. WHY ME??? LUCKY THOSE GIRLS THAT GOT THEIR REAL POSITIVE THIS MONTH BUT I WISH IT WAS ME. SO HEART BREAKING. ALL I CAN DO IS CRY CRY CRY ALONE IN HIDING FROM EVERYONE. MAKE EVERYONE THINK I'M STRONG. BUT INSIDE I'M BREAKING APART.