#metoo

This is the first time that I am opening up about what has happened to me. Im still a little afraid and confused but, if there is a girl out there that has gone through the same thing as me I want her to know she's not alone and its not your fault.

I was raped twice, once when I was 22 and again when I was 25. The first time it happened I agreed to hang out with someone whom I thought that I could trust, someone that I had been friends with since I was 14, it was October a Saturday night at around 11pm. This person came to pick me up he had a friend in the car with him, after introducing he parked at a park and asked if I wanted to drink with them, of corse I said yes we played a shot game and I had taken well over 8 shots it was a big bottle of e&j; brandy. I said that I had had enough but he put the bottle back to my mouth jokingly and said "no you haven't". At that moment I was incoherent, I passed completely out and woke up to something no one should every have to, him trying to force himself into my vagina and his friend trying to force himself into my mouth. I couldn't move I said no repeatedly and tried my damnedest to pick myself up which resulted in me falling back down and passing out again... when I woke up again his friend was trying to penetrate me and my "friend" was trying to force himself into my mouth. I felt as if I was going to die, it felt like it was going on for hours. I found myself stumbling up the street to my house with my clothes twisted and vomit all over my top.... I walked into the house changed and laid down, I didn't know what to think. For the longest time I blamed myself....

The second time was again with someone I thought I could trust, all thought it was concentual upon my arival I as a woman also the owner of my body deserve a say-so in who does what. This person and I had sex, I told him that I did not want to do it again because I was uncomfortable with how intoxicated he was, he proceeded to pin my arms down we fought tooth and nail before he forced himself into me. I couldn't take the fighting anymore I was afraid he might really hurl me or worse, I laid there counting how many times he went into me until it was over. I walked home in tears and disbelief...bruised on my neck to my arms, legs and hip

After all of this my heart is still bigger than ever and I'm in a loving relationship with the love of my life and 2 perfect Little babies 🙌🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾