Patience waning for husband 😪

A little background:

Married 7 years today and together 10. Before we got married we talked about kids; he didn’t want any but said he would do it for me. I wanted kids years ago but I waited and waited and finally told him we needed to try before I start getting too old. He wasn’t happy about it but conceded and went with me to my appointment to talk about getting off birth control.

I should’ve known then...

6 months later I miscarried and he said, “I’m relieved.”

Again, I should’ve known...

Two months later I was pregnant again and our son was born this past March a month early.

The past 7 months have been so hard. My son is thriving now and is a happy baby. My husband has spiraled into this moping child from the man I knew him as.

He doesn’t want anything to do with our son. Example: just the other night I asked if he would keep an eye on the baby so I could make dinner. He said no, that he would rather make dinner.

Another example: a couple weeks ago we were hanging out in the living room while my husband played a video game. Baby and I were playing on the floor and he was laughing. Suddenly, my husband said he had to go for a walk. Later I asked why and he said that the baby laughing was annoying 😔

It’s been 7 months since our son was born and I feel as though there is no end in sight.

I’m trying to be understanding and give him time to adjust. I am mostly able to stay on top of being intimate with him (a couple times a week) and I take care of our son exclusively while working part time.

My husband won’t even watch him while I’m at work. I pay my mom to watch him since husband can’t handle it.

I know he’s feeling lost and unsure of himself. I know he’s jealous of the baby and that he wants to be my one and only again.

But I just am so sad and angry with him. My patience is waning. I don’t even want to see him anymore when we are both home.

Can anyone offer advice? Can anyone relate?

What hurts the most is our son will laugh and smile at him and try to go to him when he sees him. The most he does is come over and say hi and kiss his head. I don’t want my son to grow up feeling unwanted by his dad!

All this makes me just want to leave with my baby and go somewhere where it’s just the two of us, since that’s what it already feels like.