I need help

Recently my depression has gotten much, much worse. I’ve relapsed back into the way it was when I was 13-14. I’ve begun cutting myself again and the suicidal thoughts are drowning me. I don’t want to kill myself, but I’m terrified that some day soon my depression will swallow me up. It’s getting harder every day. I tried to turn to the person I love most, my boyfriend, but he just said that I was 19 years old and that I needed to get over it. I’m too old to be acting like this, he said. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know how to help myself because I have no money for therapy or any type of professional help. I’m completely alone in this.

(Update) I’m an atheist but I appreciate the prayers nonetheless. It’s the thought that counts.