Feeling torn and guilty...

So, from about 2 months old to now (11 months) I have been co-sleeping with my very adorable and cuddly baby boy. It's been awesome having him share a bed with my husbabd and me.

Also, it's been very convenient since I breast feed and he gets up every 2 hours to nurse. So, obviously popping the boob out without getting up is nice.

But my husband hates this and my little baby boy is starting to move a lot more and it's getting harder to get a decent sleep with him moving and kicking us.

Because of this, I tried getting him to sleep in his crib last night. It took me 1 hour to get him to fall asleep in his crib. The first 30 minutes he cried so much that I felt like a terrible person. And the remaining 30 minutes he made quiet little sniffles that broke my heart.

He stayed asleep in his crib for about 2 hours and then woke up to nurse. So, I had to get out if bed to get him and then I brought him into my bed.

I'm exhausted and I don't know if it was worth it. The entire time he was in his crib I tossed and turned because I missed him and because u was worried he would stop breathing. And then when I had to get up to get him I couldn't fall back asleep. Now, I'm up and getting ready for work and I have bags under my eyes.

My husband slept through all of this so I'm sure he's not going to care that it was so much harder to try and put him in his crib.

I just don't want to stop co-sleeping yet.

Am I being a bad mom? Am I hindering my son's independence? Am I failing because my kid still wakes up every 2 hours? Is it really that bad that I want him to sleep in my bed a little longer?

☹☹☹