Feeling lonely an upset need a friend

How does a miscarriage feel because I'm bleeding an stringy like thing but no cramps and the dr told me last night I was having a spontaneous abortion my hcg have dropped to 183 last after I find out I'm 11 weeks why o why me I'm so upset this would have been my first I imagine holding a beautiful lil boy now wen I go to sleep at night I can only blow kisses to heaven to wish u a good night instead of rocking an holding you but even tho your a memory you will never be forgotten you are my first so you always have mommy love an heart even if I go on to have a second  mommy will alway plant a flower an let a ballon go for your was truly wanted