Feeling way too low!

I'm seriously strugling here. I'm so low I'm seriously asking myself why I even keep going. Why do I keep trying when it never gets me where I want to go, it rarely makes things any better, it often makes things worse. I moved for a man, across 2 states, left my family,my home, my life for him. He's going through a divorce which has spanned nearly 2 years now. Custody battle is holding up the divorce. Every bit of stress he has I take on as my own, I help carry the weight. I'm drafting his case against her almost entirely alone despite the fact that he has an attorney. I take on the stress his ex puts on the kids trying to turn them against us so she can get custody taken away from him. I take on the stress and burden of my kids. The stress of the move, the stress of a new school after homeschooling for years, the stress of a new family with new siblings. The stress of the sexually and age inappropriate things the three youngest have been caught doing. The stress that someone is exposing his son to these things and not knowing who. I work on every complaint he has with me big or small, I alter my mood, my behaviour, myself. He tries, he does he just doesn't know what putting extra effort forth really means. He dismisses my feelings tho. He makes exuceses to do so. He asks too much of me and doesn't even realize it. He refuses to listen and refuses to see what I'm going through. I feel like that song "I'm bad at Love" I feel like that song " why is everything so heavy?" I feel like that song "Goodbye cruel world I'm leaving you now, nothing you can say to change my mind, goodbye." My family is dropping like flies, my grandma 2 years ago, my cousin the other week, and aunt in renal failure who won't last long. Plus, my furry niece, hit by a car and paralyzed probably going to be put down today. I know she's a dog but, I love her too and she has been a part of our family for nearly a decade. It's all just too much but, I know how much losing me will hurt my family, the ones I love, so I stay and I hurt and keep trying and I keep going even though I know my path keeps circling around. No amount of change no amount of work gets me on the path that leads out of this darkening forest of hopelessness. I just Don't know what to do anymore. I'm breaking, again I'm losing my battle again, I'm drowning in my pain and hopelessness. I need help getting out but, every one is standing by telling me "I can pull myself out" that their help won't do any good so why try again. That I'm not worth saving to them. I'm holding on for dear life to a slippery, wet, piece of land with an under current pulling me down everyday of my life.