Daddy duty- how long do u let your baby cry with dad? Suggestions on daddy night routine without sports?

Question

My hubby tries to help with the baby after work and some nights (depending on what sports are on, which is annoying because why are u only more motivated to stay up when u can watch a game with the baby?!) he is more agreeable to stay up with him til 11 or 12 or even just 10. I usually pump after dinner and then baby gets a bottle and gets put to bed by him. I keep telling him listening to loud sports in the bright living room is not a good night time routine and perhaps that’s why the baby is not in a routine ? He thinks our almost 8 week old is too young to be put on a routine and can’t tell what room hes in. So I let him be and half of the week he can get the baby to sleep but usually he will come and I’ll have to top off the baby or it’s 10 or 11 pm and no sports are on and he’s tired and Needs sleep for work so will give the baby to me. I go back to work in a month and I am getting so anxious how that will work because I feel like I’m running on fumes now 😟 which is fine when I’m home and can nap during the day so I try not to give him a hard time but now that work is coming up for me I really want to get on a routine. 
Tonight the baby was wailing for like 20 min maybe longer or shorter I Don’t even know because to me him crying that hard even for a second is gut wrenching and makes me so sad so I finally got up and was like lemme try to help. My hubby got so upset and took it as I don’t think he can take care of the baby and then stormed off to sleep and didn’t even want to rinse out the bottle or grab the baby monitor for the night or full the humidifier- all things I reminded him of before bed. I am grateful he wants to help but what am I supposed to do just listen to my baby screaming in the next room for an hour ? Friday’s and Saturday’s he says he will stay up longer well he ended up going to bed before me again and I’m up after putting the baby down now frustrated with him and unable to sleep😐
How do u ladies handle you baby and hubby for daddy duty? Any tips on daddy night routine?

Answer

I leave it alone when she's with her daddy. I want to take her as soon as I hear her cry but if he has her then it's up to him. They need their time together and it helps him figure out how to comfort her as well as teaches her that he can comfort her. it may sound selfish but the more she is happy with just her daddy is the more time i have to sleep or clean or shower or just stare at walls.

Answer

I EBF. So there is not much in the way of comfort my SO can do. But taking the baby outside usually gets him to calm down. So, my SO will go for alot of walks with the baby. Or if it's night time, he will just go on the back porch. I think it's the sun and or cool air that comforts the bub. But the only time dad is alone with baby is right when he gets home from work I take my nightly shower that is only about 15-20 minutes. And then we do family time. Then hubby goes upstairs to play a couple maps of Destiny and I put baby to sleep. I know when my hubby just wants to be around us he will play his video game downstairs (We are currently sleeping in separate rooms because baby wakes up alot to eat and I don't want to wake up SO.) I know the light from the TV most CERTAINLY effects how bub sleeps. Those are rough nights. But I don't have the heart to tell dad, because...well he loves us and wants to be next to us but also unwind before bed. lol.

Answer

My husband was the same way for a bit and would just let her cry. I explained that it is a lot different for women to hear their babies cry, because it does something completely chemically different to the brain. Every time I hear her cry, I NEED to fix it. Since then, he's done a much better job at consoling her. 
As far as routines go, I'm kind of siding with your husband. It really only depends on your baby! Some babies are totally okay with being on a routine, but some (like mine) will do what they want, when they want! 
You could definitely look into a really loose routine where you have around an hour to feed, put baby down, bathe, etc.

Answer

My baby is 8 weeks and we are on a schedule. Unfortunately that does mean that she is asleep or throughly winding down when my husband gets home (he works 10 hour days). One thing that he does to get in more baby time is he gets up with her in the morning before he leaves for work, changing her, snuggling and talking with her. If he gets home early enough he will spend a bit of time with after work as well. They usually just sit and play and sing songs. He sometimes does her nightly bath. I breastfeed but we are introducing bottles and he will sometimes give her a bottle after bath. It works for us and I love having baby on a schedule so I can anticipate what my day and nights will be like (and get rest!).

Answer

Daddy loves to help with nugget 💜 I pump and leave the nipple to the bottle in plain sight, tell him where everything is, etc etc but he usually gets through two feedings and then I take back over lol he does get frustrated sometimes when or baby is overly fussy, just because it upsets him that he's crying and can't soothe him. he's just a Mama's boy sometimes and daddy can't help with that

Answer

I am EBF and have not introduced a bottle yet so the feedings are all on me. But I also have a hubby that loves sports. Our little one goes down at 930 usually so if I am feeling really exhausted (haha) I will feed at 730 pass baby off to hubby and go to bed. Hubby will watch the game with baby and then put her in pjs and change her. He brings her to me at 9ish so I can do the remainder of our nightime routine (bf,cuddles, white noise).

Daddy duty- how long do u let your baby cry with dad? Suggestions on daddy night routine without sports?

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