I love my boyfriend. I know he loves me too. We’ve been going out almost a year. Well, we went on holiday this half term and he got kind of moody and withdrawn last night. I wondered if I’d done something wrong. I asked him and he kinda said “I don’t know... it’s just hard being together so much”. Fair play, as it was the half term. But this isn’t the first time this has come up. He doesn’t like me staying over his place too many days. He says he needs his space because he’s solitary and struggles living with other people.

So I asked him straight up last night if he could imagine us living together. He said “I don’t know”, which, could mean anything from “no but I want to spare your feelings” to “yes but I’m unsure”. Anyway, I then said that we can’t keep on dating indefinitely and that I want to move in with him at some point. He said “why not? (keep dating indefinitely). Well... the whole point of being in a relationship is to share things including home right?

Anyway. I had a bad night just crying. My family don’t really want anything to do with me. I can move, but not anywhere local (I’m on benefits as I’m disabled and I have a dog... nowhere local accepts those two things), and I didn’t do it because I thought I would move in with him at some point. But now I don’t know and just want to get away from here and find my own place somewhere else.

A lot of times in the past we talked about children and marriage. I know he didn’t want either. They were not deal breakers for me, as most my life I didn’t want children either so I understood, and also marriage is just a piece of paper right? Right. So if the relationship is strong I can live without those two things.

But now he’s saying that he might not see a future with me sharing a home. Well, that’s a deal breaker for me, and it’s the first time I am seriously thinking of breaking up with him. Now I can’t help think all these negative things about him over silly stuff that never bothered me before. I’m angry and I can’t pretend to be happy in a relationship that isn’t working for me. I love him, but maybe I should let him go.

I want to talk about it properly with him first, but if he doesn’t see a future of us together, then, I guess I will have to say it’s a deal breaker and end the relationship. Breaks my heart but what else can I do? 😔

*UPDATE*

Thanks for the replies.

He messaged me so I used it as an opening to express my feelings. I’m too emotional to really make sense of this right now (I get brain fog), so I guess I just want to know what you ladies think from this conversation?