Help with boyfriend's parents
Alright, so this is a long one so I sincerely apologize!
Rewind to four months ago when I went into labor. My boyfriend's mother (let's call her Pam) already mentioned she wanted to be in the room when all of it was happening, but I went into labor at midnight, and it wasn't looking like my baby was coming for a while. She laid herself all over my boyfriend's sleeping area and told him that he could sleep in the rocking chair. We were all tired, and I knew my boyfriend was exhausted because he had been working all day. So we kindly told her to go home and get some rest, and then come later on when it looked like a baby was coming soon. She got really mad and argued with my boyfriend WHILE I was in pain and contracting on the bed. Then, proceeded to say something mean to me before leaving the room. Pam then texted my boyfriend saying we had 30 days until they kicked us out (we were living with his parents until we were able to afford our own place). Next day, I allowed her back so she could see her grandson, but there was never a sorry, not even until this day.
Fast forward to 2 days after I am discharged...
My baby had been crying and keeping us up all night. I understood this, we were new parents and everything was new to him. Pam and my boyfriend's dad (let's call him Joe) assumed it was all because he was not getting enough to eat.
**Side story: while in the hospital, I had been dealing with latching issues and PPD. Feeding my baby was making me upset because I felt I was not doing enough**
While I was pumping to help get my milk to come in, my baby was in the living room with Pam and Joe. My boyfriend leaves, and then comes back saying that we needed to make little guy a bottle. I asked why (because I was strict with wanting to breastfeed) and he said because his parents told him to. As I was attempting to pump, he made him a bottle and I was bawling my eyes out because I felt like a failure. I know fed is best, but I believe his parents should have left that decision to US.
Fast forward to the next day or so...
Joe tells my boyfriend to bring him MY PUMP and put his hands all over it, trying to see why I wasn't making milk...then a day or two later, when my milk came in, I was told to show Joe so that they could see the milk I finally made for my son.
Fast foward to weeks later...
Pam and Joe would constantly come and take my son without even asking. I finally put my foot down one day when my baby was sleeping on me and Joe attempted to take him. I flat out said "no, he's sleeping on me" and apparently that's when a lot of things spun out. As weeks went by, I noticed Joe had stsrted ignoring me at any chance he could. I finally asked Joe through a text if he had a problem with me, and Pam replied "no problem." This lead me to believe that all was okay. Then, one morning I come out to see my food had been thrown away. Turns out, Joe did it. That is when he finally decided to say he had a problem with me. The whole thing turned into a huge argument and Joe ended up putting his hands on his son (my boyfriend). My boyfriend had bruises and marks from it all. Turns out, the whole reason why there was a problem was because I said no ONE TIME to him holding my son. I would let them hold him all of the time. They said we were selfish because we are always holding our son and should let others hold him.
Fast forward to now...
I do not live with them anymore.
I apologized for ever coming off disrepectful to them and said I appreciated all that they did for us. But they do not see a reason to apologize to me about anything. They say that they do not need to respect me because they are older. They wanted to come and visit, but I told them I did not want to see them, and I did not want my son alone with them so I said he wouldn't be going either. They say I am holding him hostage. Everything says I am a bitch because I never let anyone hold him (when I only ever said no ONE TIME).
My question is: what do I do? Was I ever disrespectful or was I right to feel the way I did and ask for an apology? I need help because they are basicallt saying I do nothing for my son because I do not contribute financially. I am a SAHM for the moment while I do online schooling. I am just lost and need advice. Sorry this was so long but thank you if you read it all!!