⚠️ Trigger warning for survivors of abuse and self-harm ⚠️

Can anyone who has experienced domestic abuse, or is currently experiencing it, give me any tips for helping someone through it? A friend is being abused. She’s at a stage where she knows that what he does to her is not ok, and knows that she needs to leave him, but she still buys into the stuff he says about needing her. When he calls and says that if she doesn’t come over he might hurt himself, she goes. She knows that this is an abusive tactic, but he still has that hold over her. It seems like no matter how many times she decides to leave him for good, he always knows what terrible thing to say to bring her back. There are a lot of people trying to support her, and we’re all educated about sexual violence (including her). Ultimately the change has to come from her, and we don’t know how to facilitate for that to happen. Nothing has worked so far.

If you are a survivor, I want to say that I am so sorry for what you’ve been through, and I hope that you have found the light at the end of your tunnel. I REALLY appreciate any advice you have to offer. What do you wish people had done or said? What or who do you wish you’d had? What do you wish people hadn’t done or said?