Me and my boyfriend have been together for about a year and some change now. Two years before I met him I was with my first child's father. Things were pretty bad. Our daughter is 6 years old. Now after I had her we were " trying " but not trying to have a baby. Around the time my daughter was turning 6 I ended up pregnant. Which I was so excited honestly. But me and the father were having so many problems and I was so miserable that it over powered my emotions on finally having another child after 5 long years. Anyways I end up having some complications.. didn't have the baby. It's now been 2 years since my last pregnancy and me and my boyfriend soon to be fiancé are trying to have a child. He has one of his own and I have one. We are very sexually active. Which I never understand why it's so hard for me to conceive.. I am a smoker. Um I struggled with my health and my weight for awhile. Last time I received MC I just broke down in tears. Literally. Broke down. My fiancé was in the next room he didn't even hear a thing. He wants another child but he's in no rush to have another child. But see my child is 6 and his is 2.. I'm starting to feel like maybe something is wrong with my body but I know it all starts with not stressing so much, stop smoking, drink plenty of water and Idk wait it out? But after so many long years and everyone around you that don't need a child rn or don't want a child rn seems to be the only ones having a baby. My little sister she's only 17 and she's pregnant again. She had an abortion first and she's thinking of having another one. The child's father would be Great with the baby but he is horrible to my sister. She's so young and not ready mentally. Hell or financially. But she's blessed. I don't know how many more long nights of crying my eyes out it will take. When it's close for me to come on my MC I won't even use the bathroom for the longest time because I don't want to see me starting. It breaks my heart every single time. Idk how to be strong and I'm starting to hate having sex now..