It has only been a week since my partner has been gone but it has been so incredibly stressful. I am sleep deprived and emotional. I’m still processing the fact that I had this being growing inside me for 9 months and I just pushed him out of my body 4 weeks ago. I’m so insanely protective over him. Every little thing causes me stress. I’m constantly anxious about who is holding him or if he’s getting what he needs. I feel like I’m doing everything wrong. I’m crying every couple days. The first 3 weeks were amazing because my partner was such a great support. And I feel like I’m dying without him. He had to fly back to Germany to apply for a new visa because his passport expired. And I have no idea when he will be home. He’s talking about flying me and the baby out there if his visa doesn’t come by next week. And even the thought of that is overwhelming. This is so far from the postpartum I wanted and it kills me that we will never get this time back.