Are your parents divorced?

Question

Can someone explain to me how it affects a child emotionally when their parents divorce? 
My dad is absent. So I've only had my mom and step dad-whom of which I am not close to or see as a father figure. 
So basically I just have my mom. My dad is terminal right now because hes an alcoholic and its killing him. And honestly, I don't even think about it. I don't know the guy at all.  He walked away and never looked back. 
  I guess it's annoying that my dad is absent, you can't miss what you never had. But I'm sure it would have been great to have a dad.  I envied my friends who have dads and actually spent time with their families and bonded with their freaking dads. Everyone's parents loved me because I liked spending time with them instead of just my friends. But all my friends parents are still married.    
 Anyways, this is not coming from judgment, i don't know how it could? And it's not coming from "well my situation is worse than yours so be thankful" its more like "i have no idea what that's like so clue me in" 
  I always see or hear people talking about how it was hard for them when their parents were divorcing. Especially when you're a teen and your parents divorce. I'm like well you still have both your parents that love you so I mean, idk 🤷‍♀️ but again, I've never had to go through that. So i can't say that. But I can't lie, I think that. Sorry.   
Is it the fact that your parents aren't inlove with eachother anymore? My parents sure as hell aren't inlove. I'm not meaning that in a condescending way, I'm just trying to understand and don't know how else to say it. like you spent your whole life watching their relationship and then it's over so you kinda catch the heartbreak of divorce? I don't know. Again I have no idea.

Answer

yes they are they divorced when my sister was around 1 shes now about to be 20 and I'm about to be 21 and my brother is 22 we got used as pawns agaisnt our dad mainly me and my sister because were his biological kids and my mom took my brother away from my dad ruined their relationship now there is nothing but hate there and it hurt my dad and destroyed my brother as well they can be civil in person and mom always talked crap about my dad it was horrible but I'm exactly like my dad an never listened to her my dad on the other hand has kept their entire divorce to his self because it wasnt our business and he always made sure we had what we needed when we went there and that we had memories from vacations together and mom always despised him because he had money and she didn't they both have remarried and they're happy and now that were all adults they can be civil my dad hates my mom my mom deep deep down still wants my dad but its crazy there's a lot more but its difficult on alot of people with parents being divorced especially if theyre used as pawns or I their oarents got divorced when they were older than we were because they can remember it we cant.

Answer

My sister got divorced when my niece was 3.. and my niece (now almost 6) was completely baffled when we told her that her mom and dad used to be together.. I think it totally depends on the age and also environmental factors as well.. such as if there is co-parenting, or visitation rights, ect. There's too many variables

Answer

A lot of it is being torn back and forth. For some people the divorce was smooth and easy and was just a transition, but it definitely isn't that way for everyone. 
When my parents got divorced my brothers and I were used like pawns for manipulation and to try to hurt the other person as much as possible. Dad gave us mean and hurtful messages to give to Mom because he didn't talk to her directly. Mom gave it back to him and told us to cry whenever we saw him. Dad went broke sending lawyers after mom so he couldn't afford to feed us when we were with him. Mom worked 60-70 hours per week to try to make ends meet so we never saw her. It was a never ending cycle of them trying to hurt each other and us kids getting the consequences.

Answer

my brothers dad was more of a friend than parent to him. he told lies about my mom and dad to my brother which in turn made him be very disrespectful towards them and his dad pretty much encouraged it by not punishing him for his bad actions. If my mom punished my brother he woukd call his dad and his dad woukd just cone pick him up so he didn't have to be punished. it wasn't until my brother had kids of his own and his dad started doing the same thing to his kids that he realized it wasn't ok and my mom wasn't as crazy as his dad made her out to be. while my SO was never married to his ex he does have a kid with her but she has never known them to be together since they split right after she was born. her mom is in the process of getting divorced from her step dad and it's been really tough on her as far as her mom just not being around very much anymore because of her new bf. She drops my step daughter off with her soon to be ex husband rather than keeping her on her time. it kills my step daughter because she wants her mother's love and attention so badly and her mom could care less because her new bf is more important to her. step daughter's younger sister is the exact opposite and wants nothing to do with her mom. i think alot has to do with how each party acts during the process of a split and how they treat the kids during that time and afterwards. for some the transition can be easy if botg parents can put aside any anger towards each other and co parent or stay involved in the kids lives and for other more difficult if one or both parents are high conflict and put the kids in the middle of the situation.

Answer

My cousins deal with this. My aunt split from their dad a while back. He's really hard on my one cousin K(I'll only use first initials). She's still in high school and a lot of the time gets really really mad at her for not coming over or over stupid crap. He stresses her out big time and I (along with a decent amount of family members) wish she would just drop him like her older brother did.

Answer

Change of any sort is hard, parents divorcing changes children's lives in so many ways

Are your parents divorced?

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