Scared as hell

Hey guys, my partner and I were 5 days late, been trying to conceive a long time with one failed pregnancy in the past. I tested 2 days late to get a negative and today at 5 days I have received two positives. I’m freaking out, last time when we did the tests I was already sore, this time I’ve a small pain above my left pelvis at the back. I’m going to see the doctor after work today but I’ve never been so scared on my life. I also have no one to talk to because if it’s not viable I can’t deal with the pity on their faces. Last time I told two friends at 6 weeks, my heart broke further telling them we had lost it, I remember apologising so much to them. The stress part comes from the idea that it’s my turn to cook it, hubby has helped get it in there but it’s my job to do the cooking. I’m working today as I had a difficult meeting with my boss yesterday and it would look childish if I took the day off. Any advice for me.... anyone feel pains on one side when they have conceived?

I’m dying to get excited but there’s part of me that sees we have been trying for two years, we miscarried last year so I’m still raw, I had counselling but this is just bringing it all back

Sorry if this sounds long winded!

Update- I went to ED last night with pain in my right hand side. They did a test and it came back negative. I go for bloods today but the whole experience was really poor. I’m in New Zealand and the young female doctor used phrases which should have been relaxing but they cut to the bone. She knew I was nervous but she told me unless there is bleeding there are no medical tests they can perform. I asked her to run my hormone level so we could be sure they are increasing and she didn’t see a reason. Once she say the negative test she decided to send me for bloods. For the pain in my side she didn’t check it over, just did a UTI test which was negative. Once she saw the negative test she said “well you are the worst person I could give this news too”. She told me “you need to hear me, there is nothing we can do”. If I’m pregnant her internet calculator told her it’s 4 weeks and 4 days. We are on our way to the pharmacy to buy more tests now, she said pharmacy tests are stronger than her tests.

I broke my heart last night because I felt like this doctor dismissed me. If my baby is in there I hope she’s holding tight because her mummy is going to do everything possible to give her an easy run. Calling it bubble and referring to it as a girl only because it feels natural.

Hope everyone else out there is having a positive test today, I’m crossing my fingers for me and you