How to deal with a man with mommy issues ?

My man and I been together for awhile. Three years ... but things are beginning to unfold in very interesting ways. I’ve never met his mom which always struck me as odd. I’ve wondered if he took me seriously or if I were a secret or he had some other life. He said he had no issue with us meeting but never arranged it to happen. But here’s the thing, when he talks about his mom, I don’t ever get the notion that he loves his mother. Every time he talks about her, he’s extremely disgusted. It’s some deep rooted pain that he only talks about on surface level. Such as she wasn’t affectionate with him, she always told him to turn to Jesus (which he’s totally against now) and she seemed to care for her daughters more than her sons. Well now he’s grown with children and he doesn’t think his mother respects him as a father to his children because of comments she’s made regarding his belief system and parenting. It seems he still constantly seeks validation from her but the pain and tension is so deep that they don’t communicate well at all. So I was always told never deal with a man that doesn’t respect his mom because he will never respect you. We’ve been together for a while and I won’t lie, we’ve definitely had ups and downs but he’s a good guy. I just know he needs extra tender loving care but I don’t want to be a crutch for him nor do I want to be someone he lashes out on because he hasn’t processed these emotions. I know he’s just battling his own internal shit most times. It becomes more and more evident that our issues are normally his projected insecurities. A few of mine, but mainly his. We ALWAYS work through them but this issue with his mom... I’m not sure if it should be a red flag that I shouldn’t be with him. I love him, I’m just wondering what I’m truly dealing with beneath the surface.