Miscarriage

Week 8 day 6 I started to get dark spotting week 9..In the AM my fiancè left for work and little after he leaves i feel blood coming I run to the bathroom and ive started bleeding...I started crying not knowing what was going on..sure enough a clot comes out...a second passes through..I cry in fear...The same night, I pull myself together and start talking myself into thinking maybe its the baby pushing out all of the rest of the bad stuff from my last pregnancy...Next morning, we drop our son of to grandmas and head to the ER. I get sent back. Test started and the first doctor felt my cervix he couldnt get anything from it...Next doctor took me back for an ultrasound..At this point I was having hope thinking its okay the baby is ok. 20 minutes later the doctor still isnt saying anything while looking inside my womb. The doctor puts everything down and at that moment I was still in denial thinking maybe they will tell me its okay back in my room. Nope. 9 week miscarriage. Do I cry? Should I be okay because “it wasnt that long that I was pregnant”? This happens to 1 in 4 woman...?Is that supposed to make me feel better..I feel numb. Like numb where im okay to do things I need to do. But once I get a moment to sit I feel empty.