Competition?

Question

So before my daughter was born, my MIL always thought that my parents would take over. I'm super super close to my mom and plus she's my mom, not you. But not once did I think she would "take over" fast forward 8 months all my MIL does is act like it's a competition. I went over to my moms for Halloween and she came over and went to get my daughter before my mom and  the first thing she said was I GOT HER FIRST I GOT HER FIRST. And just other random shit these last few months like if my mom watched her for a day, my MIL would have to make sure she saw her that week. Or my mom would buy her an outfit, then so would my MIL. You catch the drift? My SO has even called her out on it and she always plays the pity card and has no idea what he's talking about. IT MAKES ME CRAZY. Is it just my family, or did you feel some competition between the Grands? (Side note, my mom feels no competition and doesn't even understand why my MIL makes deals like this. She thinks it's ridiculous)

Answer

My MIL is the opposite. She says she doesn’t want to spoil our LO because my parents do. She’s a passive aggressively lady who clearly favors my SIL little one over ours. It use to bother me but I am fine with it. My inlaws are old school Christians and their beliefs are very closed-minded ; less time my LO is around them the better. 
Your MIL is making things a competition because she’s insecure. Pity her, it’s a sad life to feel the need to always out do someone.

Answer

Yup. This happened with my sisters kids and is happening with my daughter at least from my MIL... if my daughter doesn't want her to hold her she says "does she do that with your mom?" And always asks when we saw them last or why she can't come over to "help" smh. Lol my partner just tells her to stop and that it's not a competition and that she's a human not a trophy 🤷🏼‍♀️ good luck!

Answer

my brother's ex is like that with him and his new gf. If he does something with the kids she has to do something with them too or try to out do him. he doesn't care as long as it gets her involved with the kids he's all for her pettiness. it's sad that she thinks she has to be better than him to even care about and do stuff with her own kids but he'll take that over what she was doing before.

Answer

Can’t say it’s just your family because this actually happens with some people I know. Luckily my MIL and mom don’t act like it’s a competition I try to give them the same amount of time and holidays with my son as we all live in different cities. I would just have a talk with her let her know its not a competition and you can see her whenever you would like there is no need to compete we all love her .

Answer

It sounds to me like your MIL is feeling extremely insecure that she won’t get to spend as much time with you, your baby and your husband as she would like because you’ll be spending all of your free time with your mother. I’m sure she is just having a hard time adjusting to having married children and having good boundaries. I’m sure she’ll mellow out but maybe just try to make an effort to make sure she’s feeling included and loved.

Answer

How does she know baby was with your mom or your mom bought her something? Maybe she feels she needs to compete because you are telling her "oh, baby was at my mom's today and she bought baby a sweater" or whatever...Do you post every thing online where your MIL can see? Try not sharing so much with her about your mom's interactions with baby and see if that solves it. You may be unintentionally feeding the fire if you are making her jealous by always commenting on what your mom does. Not saying that MIL's actions aren't annoying...

Competition?

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