So my mom’s 50th birthday is on Sunday. We haven’t been having the best relationship. I plan on surprising her at church with a gift, spend money on a gourmet fruit basket, and other stuff like surprise balloons etc. I was even going to change up my look because I know she’ll be happy seeing me different than how I normally look( I have curly hair but I wear braids all of the time, and she likes when my hair is either straight of different than how it usually is) but I just got off the phone with my little sister and she told me that my mom wouldn’t accept anything from me unless I genuinely apologize first. (We’ve had terrible fallouts and haven’t spoken since). I’m blocked on her phone so there isn’t a way for me to call her and my sister said that she’ll try to get my mom to unblock me so I can call. I don’t mind apologizing, even though WE BOTH need to apologize, that’s my mother and she’s been through so much seeing her get to 50 is a blessing. My only issue is I realized that no matter what I do for her birthday (and I’ve been stressing a bit about it) it will not make a difference about how she feels. It’s obvious that she doesn’t care about anything materialistic, she just wants a heartfelt apology, should I even stress and spend more money than I should on her birthday (including doing my hair differently for her)? I hope I made sense and didn’t confuse anyone.