Miscarriage... What now?
I had a miscarriage a week ago. I had a feeling I was pregnant with all the same simular symptoms I went through with my now ten yr old. I took the home test, and I was pregnant. A couple of days after I took the test, I had been doing some mild spotting, off and on for a couple of days which I knew could be normal; and given my age of 36, I wasn't surprised. Even checked with a family friend that was a nurse practioner. But before I was able to get in to see my doctor, I started having extremely sharp, shooting stabbing pain in my lower abdomen. I went to the e.r. Saturday and it turns out I had a really server uti and I was 7 weeks and 5 days along. They gave me antibiotics and the OB on call said come by Monday and we'll do blood work and they can't confirm a miscarriage or not in the e.r. So, I have to wait two agonizing days for the test (which was just a blood test, no examination) just for them to say we'll call tomorrow with the results. By 2 p.m. the next day, I still hadn't heard anything, so I make the call and they do the "we'll have the nurse call you back as soon as she can..", an hour later. She calls, and tell me the news of the miscarriage. I am of course devastated, and she says someone will call you tomorrow to make an appointment. That was a week ago tomorrow and I still haven't heard from that office. Is it normal to keep people in emotional limbo like that? I know miscarriages happen more often than not, but have they become that common that the care isn't there any more. Being a women's clinic shouldn't they know how it scares a woman out of their mind mind to not know if their baby is or isn't okay? Luckily, I got an opening to see my usual OBGYN. He told me everything would be fine, no D&C; would be needed because my body was handling it naturally with no damage and to keep trying for a baby, if that's the goal. Other than the shock of being treated like my baby's health wasn't important, and I know that there was nothing that could be done to stop the miscarriage, what happens now? My partner has been great. He and I have always been "if we get pregnant, we're pregnant" people, and keeps telling me there's no fault here, we'll try again, here's your favorite movie/meal and get some rest and sleep. But, we've put it in God's for 5 yrs now. What do you do with the emotions of something that you got to have for a second, but lost? The moments of tears come of course, and walking past the baby isle in Walmart, or a baby, or anything baby-ish brings on the water works. I am really lucky to have a small core, set of friends and family around me, some with miscarriages of their own. But, when you don't know what to say, what to feel, how do you talk without feeling concerns for their journey down this road too? Just so many open ended questions and feelings.