You made him do it.

My husband and I have been having issues. I think that we have fallen out of love. Don't get me wrong I love him, but I'm not in love with him? He doesn't give me the butterflies, we argue all the time over everything. I feel like I can never do anything right and that he can't either. I feel super neglected, as I would like to feel appreciated for keeping a house clean and cooking and working. I really need him to tell me I'm beautiful especially when I spend hours doing my makeup for him. He feels lonely. Like he is laying next to me but alone and wakes up alone. I give him that feeling because I'm cold to him. But I just feel that way. Anyways, I cheated on my husband on the 1st. I'm not proud, but I don't feel so bad (I think I wanted to hurt him) and I feel like my world has been spinning since. My husband's friend found out and told me I needed to tell him. On the 3rd I got drunk and told him over text. He came home of course super mad and angry. Very hurt and drank 7 beers in a half hour. I feel like we were screaming for hours. I said something really mean to him about sleeping with the other guy and he slapped me in my face with the palm of his hand. He didnt feel bad he said I deserved it kinda like well you cheated if you wouldn't have I wouldnt have hit you. So of course I cried went away from him. He's never hit me before. We've been together for 4 years married less then 6 months. After I cried I went to get a bottle of water out of the garage and he locked me out. So I had to call the cops. They told him if he couldn't calm down they were going to take him. I didn't tell them he hit me. He came in calmed down and told me he just wanted to be by me. We got into bed and he wanted to have sex but not like make love like fuck hard sex. I let him. Then he wanted me to cuddle asleep. I think this was his way of dominating me like he is a man. I dont know. Now he says he is sorry and wishes he could take it back. But he can't he said the minute he did it he wishes he wouldn't have. But at the end of the day it's still I cheated. I did because I wasn't happy. He says he wants to fix things and work it out. I don't know how I'm supposed to feel. Is it possible for us to get past those things and move on is it possible to fall back in love? Please give me nonjudgemental advice. Thank you sorry its so long.