Is there any way to break into another culture circle with the women ??

Question

My husband is African and Muslim when I go to social functions with him, sometimes we are separated by gender. When I'm with the women it doesn't work out well they are sometimes cordial and sometimes not. Is there any way others have tried, think of or know of, with any culture circle, that can work for me, I'm a Black American Christian.

Accepted Answer

Update : God just showed me a way. I saw a girls key chain and we started chatting over the eiffel tower, hair, travel. I'm thankful, I'll have to continue that.

Answer

I would go the 'how to win friends and influence people' route and show your interest in them on a personal level (if you haven't already). Ask them about their favorite dishes, the music they like, etc. Or anything that you find that might be something you have in common with them. If they don't budge and don't let you in, at least it was worth a try.

Answer

The best way I've gone about situations like this is to not try so hard to get people to like me when I'm the outsider. I attend things and sit and listen instead of introducing myself, etc. I make maybe one or two friends, and then later they usually suggest introducing me to the broader group. It can feel lonely at first, of course, but I've found that people trust people who just listen to them instead of talking when they're the outsider. It makes it a more gradual transition so it's not so much culture shock for either of you. 
Hope this helps, I know it's vague! I live in MN, we have a lot of Somali immigrants and have a lot of African Muslim friends. I know that obviously not everyone's gonna be alike just because they're African and Muslim, but I'm not just talking out my ass lol. I've even been invited to a mosque before.

Answer

My husband's family is of a different culture than my own, I really enjoy asking about their traditions, family history, immigration story, etc... And they really open up and enjoy sharing those things with me.

Maybe your husband can point out a lady or two that are the most open minded and you can work on befriending them first. If there is a couple who are a similar age as you and your husband, maybe he can arrange a double date and you befriend the wife. I think it would help to have one woman but who is consistently a friendly face at these functions. Hopefully someone who can take you under wing and teach you some of the unsaid social constructs, then get you "in" so to speak. It may take time, but hopefully they will warm up to you soon.

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That’s hard. What does your husband say?

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Go with the flow I️ guess

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Be yourself and they’ll eventually gravitate towards you.

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can I suggest an awesome christian book? read "uninvited" by lysa terkhurst. one of the chapters is about feeling lonely and uncertain of how to reach out to others. it's got some great advise!

Is there any way to break into another culture circle with the women ??

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