sad about ttc results so far

ugh i dont know... my husband and i are trying to concieve for almost 3 years now. and still 0 luck. i bought a pregnancy test today even though i had some sort of a period just 2 days ago. i keep telling myself dont think about it so much. i have 1 more test left and for some reason i feel convinced that it will show up a faint line when i use my fmu. but my brain and my body knows better that that is not true. also... i have to stop ttc for a very long time now cause i have to start with meds wich can cause danger to the mom and child when i wpuld become pregnant :'( I'm so down im just having a fucked up day.