This is goodbye for me

I just got back from the OBGYN. Nurse tried to find a heartbeat with the Doppler (10 weeks 6days) but could not. She got the midwife who tried to find the heartbeat as well but could not so the next step was an ultrasound. Ultrasound showed the baby stopped growing at 9weeks and once again, no heartbeat. I am trying to process this right now. This is my second pregnancy. I had no problems with my first. I have seen many of your stories of loss and struggle with fertility. I used this app while pregnant with my first too. I never thought it would happen to me. Not because I thought I was better than any of you but I guess I just could not imagine going through this. I want to let you all know how sorry I am for any of you who have lost your little ones or are still waiting on your chance. I now know the pain of losing a baby and its absolutely awful. I feel like maybe if I didn't forget my prenatal or if I quit stressing so much, things might be different. I know that's not the case however these thoughts keep circling in my head. The only thing keeping me happy at the moment is my 13 month old ray of sunshine, Zeke. I am so thankful to have had a great pregnancy with him and have him here with me right now

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