Over the past few months depression has become worse and worse. It finally got the better of me and I spent hours crying over how much I am falling apart and how much I tried to convince myself I was fine, I would push though my everyday work but my home has been left in shambles and my partner just the same.

I finally came out to him and told him that this is now a problem, I spent 3 hours that night repeating myself "it's not your fault, no I'm not just sad". I had to try to explain that depression is not his fault (yes sometimes he is a part of the fear/anxiety that builds to it but it's not his personal doing[I don't cope well to high tempers over stupid things and I shut down, previous abuse, NOTHING to do with my partner]) that depression is not just being sad or upset for a day or a few hours. After all that he actually went out of his way to start reading up about it and how he can recognize signs and now making sure I follow though on small tasks. He, later that night, told me he learned depression is not my control (doesn't know why but he learned that)

This man has been with me though my absolute darkest times, planned suicide, hospitalization, halucinational depression, and the recovery. He didn't realize it was something I would have to deal with again BUT he is LEARNING how to help and what it is. It makes me so happy and unbelievably thankful I have him.

p.s. I am seeing my doctor in a week for more help.