Needing advice no judging please.

Ok so here's my story I am really debating on divorce honestly I have been for awhile now. I have been more of putting it on hold just because I don't want to hurt my children or see my husband hurt but I absolutely have lost all feelings for him and i am absolutely fed up with him and I deserve better. So here first thing first yes in the past I was hurt, cheated on numerous times, talked about, put down etc I was made to look like the bad person because he at first played the victim. He got to a point the cheating stopped I was no longer talked about but yes he started drinking and I was hit Everytime till the point now he is not having a drink at all because I threatened him it was his last time and I would leave and take the kids with me. one night it was so bad I left and slept in the car with my kids yes and I still hate him for that. now that has stopped and now it's to a point he will not keep a job he doesn't care about his appearance at all and it's embarrassing I don't know the last time he even took me on a date Everytime I mentioned it I was wrong I will maybe get something on Valentine's day but that's it I'm paying all the bills and doing his part with his daughter my stepdaughter because he will not he doesn't spend time with the kids and I'm so tired of asking him to and to at least talk to them I'm tired of having to do majority everything by myself bills household kids etc IM TIRED I feel like he has to be begged to be a adult and I have to beg for help I just want someone who u can depend on no worries no begging etc I can wake up and know if it's not a good day it will be okay because he has it I really want to file for divorce I don't want to hurt him but I can't take this anymore I know I'm not perfect I have days I'm frustrated etc but that's only because I want him to just grow up and help me and be a man ; Everytime I mentioned divorce he tell me I'm a quitter etc but no I just want better for me and my children I just want to be happy I'm 26 I'm tired of wasting away my life please someone give me any advice just don't judge me I'm not perfect