At 39 weeks I looked like this.

I felt huge and unattractive. As many women post positive body pictures and talk about how much they love their bodies. I was never the one to do so.

My stomach has wrinkles and it feels like dough. I have flab from being stretched and stretch marks all over my body.

These things I should love right? These things I should cherish because I brought a living human being into this world. I brought a bundle of joy life.

Yes it's beautiful and what our bodies go through is absolutely amazing.

Yet I cannot love or find my body attractive.

Social media is probably to blame. Seeing all these women after having babies with flat stomachs that looks like not one stretch mark has touched their bodies.

I maybe insecure and have a low self esteem but I know this. I'm working on it.

But I am proud of my body for putting up with my self hate. For putting up with the kicks and the punches. The constant pain and movements. For growing a baby.

It's only been two weeks. I know my body has a lot more changes it'll i through in a year. It takes time and I know.

I am now at my pre pregnancy weight:

I still don't feel attractive but I feel more confident than I was a year ago.

I never let my body fully heal after I had my first kid. I ended up getting pregnant again. Which we tried to prevent but things happen.

I'm no super model and I'm not the skinniest person in the world.

I am me. I have stretch marks and I just had a baby. I won't ever be the way I was but I am who I am now because of the experiences I have.

So Fuck the expectations because no one needs that at their most vulnerable moments.

Embrace that our bodies may not be perfect but we did a bomb ass job at creating one.

Bulletproof coffee