Not excited for gender scan

This whole pregnancy I’ve had my heart set on having a girl. I’ve only thought of girl names and have only made plans for a baby girl.

A friend of mine is in school for sonography and she invited me to come for a scan. Baby was face down and not very cooperative so we didn’t try to look for gender. For a sec baby moved its butt up and some of the people I brought thought they saw balls. I immediately felt crushed and wanted to cry (did cry a little). The tech wouldn’t confirm or deny anything she just said with positioning she couldn’t be sure.

Now I don’t want to go to my scan next week. I just want a little girl 😩