Married four years and have two young toddlers. My husband has become a monster and I feel so lost and alone. My family lives far away. I'm a SAHM. Our oldest was recently diagnosed with autism so a lot of my day is spent driving him to his multiple therapies. My husband is extremely OCD, his mother was too. The other day he came home before I got home from my sons therapy and there was dishes in the sink from the kids lunch that I didn't get a chance to clean before I left (he gets mad if I use the dishwasher) for my sons speech therapy. When I got home he called me a fucking bitch and told me I have no respect for him and our home because there was dishes in the sink. The other day he punched the wall because I had to take a break folding laundry because I had to put my kids to bed. Last night we sat down and talked about what happened. He said I need to spend at least 5 hours a day deep cleaning and need to clean the toilet with a tooth brush. He said he was wrong to call me a bitch in front of our kids so if he needs to do it in future he'll just "pull me aside". I asked why he has no respect for me and he said he would "make me a deal" that if I keep the house clean to his standard he will stop calling me a bitch but his respect needs to be earned. I then said if I have to clean this much (my house is always clean just not OCD clean) that he needs to stay home at least 4 nights a week since he's out with friends at least 6 nights a week every week. He said if he has to make that deal he's "going to be on me like white on rice" meaning if I make him stay home he will won't let me sit down at all he'll just be looking over my shoulder as I clean and cook to make sure it's his standard. He also told me if I accuse him of cheating (which I have said before since he's out so much) again he's going to leave me but I should understand why he may want to cheat since I don't keep things to his standard. Then he said "the house better be spotless when I get home tomorrow when I get home tomorrow since you're afforded this lifestyle to stay home" because he would be highly embarrassed to grin anyone over to our house since it's so disgusting (it isnt at all btw) then went to bed. I'm afraid to leave because he said he would file for full custody of our kids if I do and I would never see them again. What do I do? I want to cry. I busted my ads cleaning today so he won't be mad when he gets hone before leaving for his friends house. I should point out he's always great with the kids and would never treat them like this.