love triangle

I have liked the same guy since 6th grade and I'm currently In 9th and he likes my best friend and in the past has dated many of my friends and liked them and it makes me so angry because he doesn't like me and I wouldn't do anything if he did anyways because I have horrible trust issues and if I were to be in a relationship with him I would hurt him and I can't completely lose him or hurt him but it doesn't matter because he doesn't like me