With my daughter, I felt incredibly close to her the entire pregnancy and extremely bonded.

This pregnancy I don’t feel bonded at all, not even a little. Sometimes I forget I’m pregnant, I’m 24 weeks and it still hasn’t registered.

I left the state I was in around September/august time frame. I have no friends or family here yet. I did this to escape an abusive ex husband.

I was married with my first. And I conceived this baby with a fling during my divorce. I found out about a month into the pregnancy he was actually married with another baby on the way. Obviously I stopped contact with him immediately. (No brainer). He reached out to me a few months later begging me to get an abortion. It’s since then that I have been absolutely detached.

I want to bond with the baby, as the situation is not her fault and I chose to give her life. Before that call I was kind of excited to have her. Now I am in denial this is all happening.

Aside from the drama story- did anyone else have a hard time bonding with their baby during pregnancy? Did it get better when you had the baby? Did you love them after they were born?

I don’t even imagine what she’ll look like or be like. I seriously don’t think about anything other then how I want to hide the bump.

Although it’s probably attributed to shame from how she was conceived and the fact I feel alone, and am alone in this.. I feel like this is not a natural thing. I did not know her father was married, in fact, I thought he was really into me. So why is this effecting my relationship with my own child?

Please no negative comments.. seriously. I’m hurting enough.