I’m writing this anonymously because I’m truly embarrassed. I just found out that I’m 5 weeks pregnant and I was practicing on waiting for sex for a year, but I had a guy friend who knew this and I met up with him one-day and we ended up having sex, which I’m so mad at myself for messing up. I know this guy is a dog and I don’t even know why I call him my friend, but also at the same time, if I ignored him he would keep calling and writing, until he gets me. “Change your phone number dummy” I really do feel so bad, so I have been friends with him for many years and every time he has had a girlfriend he has cheated on her. Occasionally we have had sex in the past and I hooked up with him. He has smooth talked and I just did not fight him that type of “Adonis” God-like guy. This time he did not tell me he had a girlfriend, until hanging out with him, but on this day. I hung out with him anyway even after knowing he had a girlfriend and he told me she was pregnant too. I did good just hanging out with him that day and reminded him about his girlfriend and baby several times when he started to touch me. He finally managed to get to me. I know I’m stupid I feel so stupid because I should have not hung out with him anyway it was a set-up. He actually told me he had a surprise for me. I should have fought harder for him not to have sex with me. I became a side chick, without my permission basically, but it’s also my fault because I know better and I’m thirty and now I’m pregnant smh. I’m embarrassed to tell my family and I’m scared of what the girlfriends family and friends will think of me because they did not see the story behind closed doors. Also he will not tell the truth he will probably make me out to be the worst to cover his own butt. I have not told him yet too. I feel like his going to tell me to get an abortion and I actually got an abortion done before with my second child and I swore, if I were to ever get pregnant again. I would not kill the next child. The abortion took a piece of me I can never get back and sometimes I cry till this day about it. I’m a killer I tell myself, but also my family is very religious and I have not told them either and I wish I could move or run away right now, but I’m also a diabetic Type 1 to be exact, but that’s the reason I did an abortion before because of being to scared to face the music and I feel dumb for not learning my lesson yet. I actually fought for my first child, who is now 5 to be born because my family was embarrassed. I feel like I’m the single mother that needs to get a grip on her life and learn how to be without a man, until the right one comes along. Well I know that’s a lot but I just had to vent. I’m sorry!