Every time I look at you grandma, all I do is fantasize about your death. We used to be best friends until you found life inside another. You knew the mean words mother says to me each night, but all you did was blame it on me. How is it my fault mother hates herself? I do to wish mother would get the help she needs. You tell me you are always going to be there for me but that night I called for you, you never answered instead you were to busy getting drunk with my 22 year old cousin. I was in the school bathrooms. The time , So I took the bottle of aspirin and chugged it down with my bottle of Aquafina water because the voices inside my head told me to do so. I burst into tears to the nurse and she brought me to the ER for my stomach to be pumped. I screamed to the doctor how sorry I was, I felt I was wasting his time because in all honesty I was. I made the decision to take the pills, now I need to own up to the consequences, just like mother taught me. When you and mother showed up, all you could say to the me was that I need to stop this bull shit and start behaving myself. Here I am today, thankfully because of the nice medical team that saved me. Am I happy everyday, not really but I am trying my best. I am trying mother and I want the best for you but you grandmother all I can say to you is that you disgust me. You say how much you love grandfather but do you really? It seems to me that all you do is take his money and spend things that he can't afford. Grandfather is 72 years old and still working a young mans job, the blame is on you. I can't stand it when you complain he's never home, he'd be home you'd stop spending money you don't have. He tried leaving you years ago but you tried to commit suicide, now he feels trapped. How can you call this love?