I hate adulting

So tired of this life of struggling paycheck to paycheck. Not sure how we will have a Christmas after our bills are paid. Literally spend every day re-budgeting.. as if the numbers will magically change.

I already work 50+ hrs a week and have taken on more kids at work (I have a daycare). I almost got a weekend, graveyard shift but my boyfriend told me no, that it would be too much for me.

But then itslike okay what now then?! We won't have a Christmas for our 9 year old :(

Ugh sorry. Just feeling done with life. Needed a vent.